People don’t run into their exes all the time. In fact, some people simply don’t see again. However, running into one is a possibility one cannot wave off. A lot of people pray hard and do everything within their power to steer clear of exes after marriage. It is quite understandable for people to do this in order to give themselves peace. Seeing an ex after breaking up could be traumatic for many as the memories of their past rushes back at them like a whirl wind. Now getting to see them happily married with their respective spouses could shake them up even when they are married themselves. Why?

Some relationships don’t end on good terms. Some bear grudges after break ups while others plan to get back for being ill-treated. It’s only a few that sees a break up as a predestined situation and reason it’s time to move on. Notwithstanding, running into an ex could be destabilizing. And most people tend to deal with exes depending on the things going on in their lives at that moment. Some people reconnect with their old partners and start illicit affairs, some could be blackmailed and conned especially when a large amount of money is involved while others simply want to see their exes go through pain just like they did at the time they broke up.

Whatever the situation might be, the following tips would help many people to deal or cope with the return of their exes.

1. Letting Go

The world would be a better place when people learn to accept whatever situation they find themselves and make the most out of it. It is important to be resilient and not give up on things or people that matters without putting up a fight. However, if after fighting and things don’t turn out as expected then you should resort to fate. This way, one is healed of all the hurt and pains. It would also be easier to relate with them peradventure one runs into them. People have different ways of dealing with pain and resentment. If lingering around them would awaken anger or any other emotion then it would be better to avoid them.

2. Assess The Situation

Most people do things on impulse when they face certain challenges. Running into an ex could prompt one to act irrationally. Oftentimes, people make rash decisions without considering the consequences. It would be wise to think about the circumstances surrounding the past relationship and things that would be at stake with the chapter of the affair being reopened. Will being vindictive bring out any good? What effect will it have on the present people in one’s life?

3. Pains And Gains

It is normal for emotions to rush in on someone especially after running into an ex; whether the ex is single or married. For clarity in decision making, it would be important to write down or make mental notes of things to be gained through the reunion or things that could be destroyed. If the list of pains surpass that of gain, it would only be wise to keep one’s distance and devise methods of saving the things one hold dear to heart. It would be pure foolishness to lose everything one has labored for because of a burning passion or a seething rage. Some things aren’t just worth the stress.

4. Communicate

In some cases where one has the opportunity to dialogue and discuss with exes, one should be as blunt as possible. Use simple terms to convey your thoughts without being rude or nasty. Ask polite questions and don’t be quick to give out personal details of your life in one breath. Most people deal with exes based on assumptions; they think they still know them well enough to predict them but most times they are wrong. While it is good to talk things through with an ex to avoid complications, it is important not to make it a habit. Your spouse or theirs wouldn’t like that kind of budding relationship.

5. Learn To Identify The Troublesome Exes

Some exes bring nothing but trouble. In order to avoid hassling and misunderstandings, it would be best to learn how to spot them. Once you identify an ex with potentials for wreaking havoc, do your best to stay away from him or her. If an ex is known to be greedy, avoid him. One day, they would make demands that would put you in a tight position.

6. Do Not Lead Them On

Your ex could have been an awesome personality; someone you could never forget. The reality is that you both have broken up and either or both of you are married now so snap out of it. Try not to lead an ex on especially if you both have things to lose. Some people flirt with exes in order to mess with them. Some do this to prove they still have control over them even after a long time. While this could be fun, it has serious implications.

Source: Naij