It is by no means a coincidence that I start off my interactive session with a discourse on womanhood. As a gender specialist this speaks to my research interest and as a woman it speaks to me on a very deep level.

So what is it like to be a woman who is strong and independent yet embraces her sexuality or can the two even go together? Recently I came to realize how complex this really is. A senior colleague and a big sister recently avowed herself to be a strong woman yet in no way deterred by her sexual objectification by the male gaze. As she said, the men can go ahead and admire her, she is a woman and she enjoys being admired. In fact she is willing to turn the other side to be properly admired. But! And here goes a strong caveat, the male’s objectification as she points out, fails to be substantiated by her and so is destroyed or devalued. In other words, embracing her sexuality and femininity is not a deterrent to her strength and independence. It doesn’t stop her from doing what she wants to do. She exudes her sexuality outside the control of the male gaze

In a patriarchal society such as Nigeria, women are only permitted to operate within certain realms that are traditionally passive. This boundary has been contested by an increasing number of women in recent times who have broken loose from the domestic arena into the public sphere. Yet, they remain an insignificant percentage. The question then is does embracing your sexuality as a woman translate to sexual permissiveness or availability? Where does one draw the line between respectable sexuality and shaming sexuality? Who defines what is and what is not respectable?

Your comments, views and experiences are welcome

Dr. Mfon Umoren Ekpootu is Prolific Scholar with expertise on gender history .

  A senior Lecturer at the University of Port Harcourt, Rivers State, Nigeria.

Please Note : this an unedited article  and the raw opinions of the writers.